The Shower Curtain Saga Ok... Blue Fish V (Death of a Blue Fish) had a couple of minor crimes occur. One was that some @ssholes made off with one of my disposable party pic cameras... and hopefully well get that one straightened out soon. But we also had the theft of my shower curtain take place! Awful. As soon as I had cleaned up my house I updated the web site and offered a cool 75 cent reward for information leading to the purpetrator of this curtain theivery, but by the next morning the shower curtain was returned. But that didn't end it. In fact we upped the offering and eventually found out the culprit(s). Anyway, to commemorate how it all unfolded, here's the story as it was posted that week. It even includes a pic of D. Brown, who made off with the final pot reward money of a buck sixty two. Story Below. Oh my god... Ok, those of you who made it by the website Sunday or Monday probably saw that I had a blue fish V casualty. My $5 Wal-Mart shower curtain was ripped off! I posted a cool 75 cent reward for information leading to the perpetrator, but lo and behold... out the door I go the next morning at 7am for work and there by my mailbox is a cardboard express mail box with "blue fish" hand written in ink on the outside. Looked like female handwriting to me. Inside it was... yep... my poor soap stained shower curtain. Returned from it's abductors with nary a single ransom demand. I'm glad to have it back (I guess) but the reward money is not cancelled!~~ No... and in fact, I'm adding 87 cents to the pot to bring the total reward offering to $1.62! Yep, that's no typo there, buddy. Not for conviction, or anything like that... but for names... and a story. I figure if anyone actually went to the (had to be drunk) trouble to meticulously unsnap and abduct a shower curtain from a big party, well, it's at least worth $1.62! to get the scoop and publish it on the site. So somebody let me know, ok? Heck, at least do it for the money. We're practically up to a Taco Bell meal. If you're the one that did it... and you're reading this right now... FESS UP! Coming clean early will probably lessen the karma retribution that's heading your way this very second. I'm doing this for your own good. Click here to report anything you know about this horrendous crime. Do your part to take back your community! Well, I now have on rock solid third hand authority just exactly who the shower curtain pilferer (and returnee) is. And man... the story is uglier than I would have ever thought. What's worse... it appears that the perpetrator did not completely act alone, and in fact had an accessory to the crime! Here's the story, painful as it is for me to tell it. Apparently a certain "Lowell" was within the confines of my bathroom when a sudden rush of extreme and uncontrollable inebriation overcame his normally much more leveled mind. What did he do but deftly and efficiently SNAG the curtain from it's sliders, fold it like a boy scout pup tent to 1/10th it's size, stuff it in his pants, and march right back out into the party with the prize tucked away. And was he alone in the bathroom during this event? Powerful sources tell me "no". Michelle Rougete (see her mug shot here) was there in the bathroom the whole time the deal went down. Accessory by presence and silence. ...tsk, tsk tsk. The sheer humanity of it all. But the same powerful sources tell me that the involved parties feel woefully low over the whole deal, and they did at least bring it back. So as far as I'm concerned, all is forgiven. Guilt (plus whatever evil karma headed their way) is certainly penance enough for anyone. So, the reward of $1.62! now belongs to Norman resident Matt (the rat) D. Brown. Thanks D! You've got a $1.62! taco bell meal on the way, courtesy of the blue fish retribution fund! Here's his picture, receiving the reward money.
D. gets the money! ...and here's a close up of his buck 62.
I hope he has fun with the money, but also keeps in mind that Dante has a level for the loose lipped too. |
